Just A Little Prick by Rob Ruddell
Check please.. Today we are training our waiter, his name is Rob Ruddell. Rob is showing us that bad guys are bad guys for a reason…just mean to the core. Don’t forget to tip!
TOXO!!
TOXO!! by JoeMur
Check please!! Your waiter tonight is the twisted JoeMur. He has spent his youth trying to create the perfect house pet, and finally after years of successes and failures, he did it. Meet TOXO, the half cat, half homeless man from behind the restaurant, all the cuddly with none of the indifference. All you have to do with TOXO is give him a scrap of food or a dollar and he will never leave you alone. Although I must say, I own a TOXO and it is kind of strange waking up to that licking your face. Don’t forget to tip!!
In Service of the Overlord
In the Service of the Overlord by Axel#13
Check please!!! Tell our waiter, Axel#13, we come from the future. In our post apocalyptic world there are no restaurants, no doggy bags, no appetizers. We are held down by the tyrannical rule of the overlord, he who hates restaurants. There are stories told of how he once went into a restaurant and ordered a burger well done and it came out MEDIUM well! Well that sent him into a power hungry tailspin resulting in the fall of the worlds infrastructure, and the slow killing of all restaurants. So, we have come to warn you, stash away some hot wings. Don’t forget to tip!!
Painting a New One
Painting a new one by Jared Konopitski
Check please!! We asked Jared Konopitski if he could come in tonight and help us paint the restaurant. We had just painted it this lovely shade of purple, when we came in the next day and the whole place was white! So, we painted again, and again we cam in and the place was white! So this time we installed cameras to see how this was happening, this is a still from the footage we took…the rest was full of the cook doing weird things to the filet Mignon. Don’t forget to tip!!
I Keep On Falling
I Keep On Falling by JoeMur
Check please!! JoeMur was your waiter, but he took a bit of a dive in the back, by the kitchen. Now we here at the restaurant want to apologize to JoeMur. You see, we know we are supposed to carry insurance for all of our employees, it’s state law. But there was this wild weekend in Vegas, where things started innocently enough, but by the end we had gotten punched by Leon Spinks, Found a baby kangaroo, and bet our whole insurance policy on red… To bad we were playing blackjack. Don’t forget to tip!!!
Here Comes Lizard Arms!
Here Comes Lizard Arms! by Mike Gray
Check please!! If you are wondering what is wrong with online dating, Mike Gray, has a tawdry tale to tell. It starts with him, lying on his online profile, saying he loves godzilla, and his perfect woman would be like half woman/half godzilla. Who knew what kind of girl would respond, but lo and behold, a woman born of the unholy union of the snake and some guy. So word to the wise, never think you can’t have sex with a girl with lizard arms, it’s cool. Don’t forget to tip.
Kids Love Balloons
Kids Love Balloons by Daniel Logan
Check please!! Tonight is a full moon and your waiter,Daniel Logan, has a present for the kids. He is a master of balloon animals and can make the most surreal scenes with them. He once recreated the scene in Nightmare 1 where Johnny Depp gets pulled into the bed…He had red balloons spewing out of the middle of the bed, the kids loved it! Crying tears of joy, it was beautiful. Don’t forget to tip.
The Girl With the Star Tattoo
The Girl With the Star Tattoo by Dan Mendoza
Check please!! Tell our excellent server, Dan Mendoza, that I have to leave. I just saw the most beautiful woman with a star tattoo right by her eye. She walked by the window while I was having the pot roast, and I knew I had to have her. I want to talk to her but I am afraid she will be just too cool for me, It doesn’t help that I am an 80 year old man with a walker? I got a lot of freaky energy. Don’t forget to tip!!
Dan is a friend of the site, and I recommend you guys go and check out his art and his comic book “Zombie Tramp”. It’s has zombies, and boobies!!
Hang In There
Hang In There by Jared Konopitski
Check please!! Your waiter for the evening will be Mr. Jared Konopitski. Yes, that Jared Konopitski, inventor of the inspirational poster of that young devil hanging on for dear life. We have all been there, when the pitchforks are about to poke us in the butt, we all have to remember to just hang in there… or else we will burn in the eternal damnation of hellfire. Don’t forget to tip!!
Old Dirt Dog No Liar
Old Dirt Dog No Liar by Paul Wilson
Check please!! Tell your waiter, Paul Wilson, that you need a doggy bag. Really it appears you need a few doggy bags, cause that pooch of yours outside is eating a parking meter. That, if I may say, is one of the creepiest domesticated animals I have ever seen…whoop, he just ate the meter maid… one gulp! Sir, please, take as much food as you would like and get that crazy mutt of yours back to the pits of hell from whence you removed it. Don’t forget to tip!!!
Check out Paul Wilsons artwork at his BLOG I met him at WonderCon, and his art blew me away.. He loves the Ugly like I do, he did an amazing Sloth from Goonies. I loved his stuff so much I bought a 5×7 from him and want to get him into some art shows up here.. Welcome to GuestChecks Paul.. there is no escape.
