They Practically Mount Themselves

They Practically Mount Themselves by Jared Konopitski

Check please!!! Little known secret about your waiter, Jared Konopitski, he has a second job where he breeds and sells deer. Now these aren’t any normal style deer, no sir the beauty of the Konopitski bred deer is that it takes the messy work of mounting the deer head after you blow a hole in it. These fine things come pre-mounted!! That’s not all, if you buy a Konopitski deer it comes with a pint of deer urine, so when you and your friends are out killing innocent animals you can get crazy and drink this. Don’t forget to tip!!

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